The first work week behind and you already feel so if worked seven days a week for three months? No it’s not that the New Year holidays were too short. The fact is that you have to be able to rest. We will tell you how to learn. Yes we know that did not leave soon but you will have time to practice.
We are afraid that if even for a moment digress from the affairs and plans then collapse all it was created unreasonable effort: career home family, and friendships. Relax and rest is often hampered by the desire to keep everything under control. And still constant anxiety Tatyana Kapitova the psychologist of the Rogerian direction considers. This illusion of its own irreplaceability is not very successfully combined with perfectionism: we strive to make everything perfect and when it does not work we experience shame disappointment. As a result, the very idea of rest causes so much unpleasant experience that before the action simply does not reach. Rest is no longer something significant. This attitude is a consequence of low self-esteem, explains Alla Chugueva a family psychotherapist. Such people abuse themselves they need to constantly deserve the love of others.
How to relax? If the inability to rest is due to hyperoperation and perfectionism you need to make rest part of your business plan. It is necessary to plan the periods of relaxation and enter them into the diary so that it would be more difficult to miss. And yet studying the experience of successful people it is useful not only to celebrate the what they say about work and vocation but their words about the rest caring for themselves sources of inspiration.
Riding without rules
All living things obey one law: the natural alternation of periods of tension and relaxation. Sleep and wake weekdays and weekends winter and spring heart beat and pause before the next blow hibernation and mating period. When we ignore this law rest begins to be perceived as something secondary unimportant optional, says Rina Moiseeva a Jungian psychologist. This is how our disrespect for our own nature for our limitations our body is manifested . We mistakenly believe that we stand above all rules and our resources, contrary to the laws of nature, are endless and inexhaustible. Idleness idleness is also important as well as efficiency energy diligence ability to be in good shape. Laziness is on guard of our resources signals us about the approach of overwork, explains the systemic family therapist Marina Travkova. Inability to respect its can not and their want leads to the fact what we perceive as the rest unfortunate break between the interesting and important things.
How to relax? It is necessary to feel different degrees of fatigue. For example you can think of such a scale: You need a little respite, a little tired, you need to rest, exhausted, completely de-energized. When we learn to understand our state to ignore the signals of fatigue will be more difficult. You can also focus on the advantages which give laziness and rest. Marina Travkova draws attention to this nuance: It is in laziness bliss and rest and sometimes in a dream, many come to mind effective and long-awaited solutions new ideas.
Escape from yourself
Sometimes our fears prevent us from resting. For example fear of change or fear of being alone with yourself. When a person downloads all available work time he had no time to think about how he lives, explains counselor Elena Mzhelskaya. He does not have time to notice that it does not meet to decide on fundamental changes. We izmatyvaevam themselves day so to no strength left to think about the meaning or meaninglessness to experience and reflection. Just to get to bed and fall into a dream. This point of view is supported by Marina Travkova: Rest helps you escape from your daily routine and look at yourself or your partner. And see something, What to see are not ready or do not want. It is not for nothing that family crises most often occur on days after vacations holidays and long holidays. On vacation, we are left to themselves can we do what we want, said analyst Yevgeny Gaiduchenko. How many of us know their desires and even more are able to follow them? Work is an external support a habitual way to stabilize reality and structure time. Without the usual busyness and bustle, we like without hands rather like without crutches. The feeling of inner emptiness uncertainty anxiety is growing.
How to relax? To begin, try to establish that in the emotion is behind the desire to cram into your day more than there can fit objectively. You can ask yourself: what would happen if I were to take a rest? When I think about vacation what do I feel? Why? If I start to rest what thoughts can I avoid? When it is clear from what was turning away you can start slowly at a pace comfortable for you to get acquainted with this thought or experience. Gradually the mind will cease to perceive the rest and the what you can not see how something common interdependent.
We can not relax because we can not explain that this is necessary, says Marina Travkova. We were taught: to work and once again to work. We are so afraid of being called emelyami slackers and lazy people that we do not feel the difference between the desire to do nothing at all and the physical need for relaxation fatigue. We are influenced by family and cultural attitudes like Who does not work does not eat, You ‘ll become lazy you’ll drag yourself with a bag, No stone flows and water flows and other equally beautiful folk aphorisms. In pursuit of social approval we start working more faster more effectively. For women, modern society imposes a double burden: in order to earn social approval it must not only be successful at work but also an ideal hostess a wonderful mother wife, says psychologist-consultant Elizabeth Koroleva. Time for rest and blissful doing nothing even sleep begins to be perceived as stolen from a family or career. Place the healthy and careful attitude to itself takes the guilt to their families for all that that supposedly something nedodala and not completed.
How to relax? To stop this race you might think a parental letter or any social setting we sell. Recall that we were told about the work and rest the parents or other significant adults. It is useful to formulate and write down this message, preferably clearly and briefly in one or two sentences. Then we look at this phrase critically: what sounds illogical? What’s outdated? What has escaped the attention of ancestors? What important things did they not notice? From what thoughts does such an installation help to escape? It is important to find in the family message and a sound grain: how did it help the family survive? What is its positive impact on our destiny character? Why can you thank this idea how did it make us stronger? In view of the answers to these questions will not be difficult to formulate a new installation taking into account and criticism and positive moments.