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Why we suffer because of what did not happen

Do you remember the tale of the Brothers Grimm about the smart Elsa? The one girl who went down to the cellar saw a pick-forgotten and sat sobbing, saying born to her son grows up send it in his cellar for ham – then that his pick and thrash. Alina Farkas says that we are all – sometimes Elsa. And he knows what to do.

Why we suffer because of what did not happen

People obviously too much worried about that can happen. Moreover I am sure excitement about the problems and misfortunes which ever may come to pass disturbing people much more than a real problem.

It all starts with the fact that the person is in the forward-looking institution and not in the which is pleasant. And then suddenly he will not be able to earn money in order that is pleasant. Or even earlier – when the crying child is not taken on the handles not to succumb to his manipulation. Because once you succumb he will draw conclusions – that’s all Thirty years later he takes you to retire and make a home television to drink with his pals. Because we all know that all begins with the handles and then – Yeah. Grow egoists and cold-blooded manipulators thinking only of themselves.

Or about sex how many girls in the world are denied to men not because they do not want. And because they are afraid that he will think ill of them? I personally know many, many such. And among them there are adults successful and even doctors of science. But What if he decides I am so with all? Or Men do not appreciate it that they easy to get.

Or here I am for example the first time I put up with people even if they were to blame. And they did not ask for forgiveness and did not come to be reconciled – because they were afraid. Suddenly I’m still offended? What if I do not forgive? Even if the quarrel was the most that neither is trifling. Even if I did not know that we had a falling out, or I should be offended – Story takes place in a fantasy opponent.

I also like to pozamorachivatsya but even at thirteen years, my mind turned over one girl from the summer camp. She was smart and very ugly but was friends with the coolest boys in the camp. And unlike other girls I’ve never-never propped the walls in discotheques. And then one day she took pity and opened her secret – she ran up to us with her friends between the dances Well, you such beauties and are alone See like a lot of good boys around And they are all embarrassed Each of them will be happy if you invite them. Well happy-not happy-it’s not known but then that no boy will deny you the dance and then he will start inviting more and more – it became obvious after a little experiment.

This story is not about the fact that not born beautiful and be born active. And about the Buy a lottery ticket and better to do and regret what not to do and regret. And also – solve problems as they arrive. ABOUT You can not imagine how I suffered for several years before the birth of his son. I was pretty sure that such a mumbler like me for no reason he could not raise a child able to stand up for themselves. I vividly imagined like my krovinushku offend all kindergarten and sandbox. And I can not do anything

. Needless to say that after the birth of a son, I had to cry about exactly the opposite he fought robbed toys and generally behave with others as a young terrorist. Even in a nightmare I could not imagine being a mother the boy who offends the other children

However I quickly changed tactics and began to go crazy because that my boy will be the main bully in school the teacher it is clear can not understand how clever he is he will begin to act out of spite will go on a curve track . And now I already carry my jokes in my fantasies. If I had someone said that this fighter will grow boring honors and amateur school discipline – I would never have believed it

And my husband. I thought for a long time that such a wonderful husband gave me a certain mistake. And soon this error will be revealed and it will be taken back. After all, there can not be such a miracle – and me ? Surely there must be some kind of dirty trick here I do not know my husband is survived – the first couple of years I have lived every day as the last. Not in the sense of unbridled joy and in that sense I’m always mentally prepared either to parting whether to some unpleasant surprise is not the same kind of happiness to last forever?

However, I’m far from one of my friends in principle, it does not allow men to help themselves. Nothing even a heavy wardrobe from Ikei itself carries. The logic is this He will help me I melt I will relax I will get used and he will then – hop And he will leave me. How will I get used to being independent again? Better itself it’s safer.

Or for example money. I know a lot of people who for years did not dare buy anything good because I do not want to get into the nest egg. Not that they saved up for an apartment or a trip to space. They just have a feeling that money may come to an end at any time – and basically the history of our country shows that their fears are not unfounded. But it also shows that one way or another – all survive survive and get out. And that in difficult years you remember about interesting trips delicious food and beautiful clothes – with joy not with regret. So that if you want something good for a long time but you do not dare then just take it and buy it. If you could make this money then others will be able to.

With such fears it is very easy to work with this anxiety. Firstly it is necessary to think that the worst can happen. And what will you do in this – the worst – situation. And often it turns out that leaves a lot. And that the situation is not so terrible if you disassemble it in detail. Secondly it’s important to have plan B If I come on a date and he does not come I’ll call my friends and we’ll go to the bar to drink cocktails and flirt together. And plan B If he comes and it turns out to be unpleasant I will pretend that I received an urgent SMS from my mother and I myself will go home to lie in a bath with foam and watch TV shows. And finally I’ll go to bed early.

But in my experience that life – it’s so ironic and diverse that none of us do not have enough imagination to foresee all the bad things inconsistencies ridiculous situations and other perdimonokl she invents for us. So what’s the point of thinking and worrying in advance? It is necessary to keep the forces of order to worry when it all happens In general think about it tomorrow.

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